I took some time this weekend to try and take and closer look about the life and I have built for myself, and it truly was discouraging. I have come to the sad, but true, realization that I have created a matrix of life within my own mind. With in the confounds of my mind I have developed a series of parallel universes that I call my reality. The first the reality that I know I should be living, the self-less loving husband, dedicated father, trustworthy friend, and the most important a Godly man worth Christ's propitiation for me upon the cross. The other is the carnal man that only cares for the filling selfish desires and filling my mind with useless selfworth.
I have realized that I have been the last more often than not, or at least parts of that mind set have found roots within my reality. This weekend has helped my realize that and not the deconstructing of the cancerous lifestyle has begun.....more to come......
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