Shape (shaped, shaping, shaper)
–verb (used with object) 14. to give definite form, shape, organization, or character to; fashion or form.
. to couch or express in words: to shape a statement.
. to adjust; adapt: He shaped everything to suit his taste.
. to direct (one's course, future, etc.).

I have been occupying my time as of late with shaping surfboard in a rundown old shack in the back yard of Chets house. It has decent light and has just enough tools to make it fairly easy to shape a surfboard if one so wishes. That is exactly what I have been doing over the past two weeks, as stated above Shaping the Poly Urethane foam into a device that is meant for riding waves large, small, face or slow depending on the elements incorporated into the surfboard. I have been using powered planers, hand planers, sureforms, sanding screens, sanding block, rulers, gauges, and my lower back so I have realized (usually the next morning while I am getting out of bed).
While I have been shaping other than concentrating on the task at hand one has a lot of time on their hands to think about things. And while usually your mind wonders too and fro, from one thing to the next with no particular rational path at times you land on a string of rational and cognitive thoughts worth discussing with oneself and occasionally others. I was first thinking of what it would be like to have a conversation with a piece of foam while it was being shaped and the shear terror that it must be going through about being torn apart bit by bit. A little silly and slightly morbid I know, but here is where the rational and worthiness to share come into play. I was comparing that to my own shaping that I am undergoing from the father.
At times I am being planed with a high speed electric planer where large amounts of myself are being removed and refined. Other times is 220 grit sanding screen removing just small amounts of unwanted burs and ridges that the planer can leave behind, leaving a smooth beautiful surface. I know at times the situations that I am going though whether they are family, work, troubles, or trials I am being reformed from a block of useless foam into a useful tool that can honor God with riding the wave to glory. It may seem silly to some, using such metaphors, but it is what is relevant in my life at this time and is easy to understand to many others. Hope you all like the picks.

Peace and Presents of God

Yes I snaked the title from Brother Lawrence's Book, but it is fitting for the subject matter at hand. Being content with any and all situation that the Lord brings before you, really it is more than being content it is finding full contentment in all that is before you. In the case of Brother Lawrence it was being a monk and washing dishes for over 15 years every day and in my case it is coming to find joy in my station in life, most notably the health of my father.
There is a definite struggle every day to find the supreme joy in every situation that has been brought forth, but truly I am finding that more and more I am relying upon the Lord for the insurmountable joy that only comes from the comfort of leaning on the Father and Author of Creation. There is a hymn that has been a major part of my life for some time and now more than ever it is relevant to myself and my family.

In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise,
In the morning when I rise, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.

When I am afraid,
Oh when I am afraid,
Lord when I am afraid, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.

Dark midnight was my cry,
Dark midnight was my cry,
When dark midnight was my cry, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.

When I come to die,
Oh when I come to die,
Lord when I come to die, give me Jesus.

Give me Jesus, give me Jesus
You can have all this world, but give me Jesus.

If you were still wondering the status of my Father things are not progressing like we would like, the cancer has grown in the liver and in the lymph system. Because of that the doctors have taken him off Torasel and he is currently searching for another treatment.

I won't lie to anyone it is not the most ideal situation, but I will say that I am doing very well in spite of the current situation. I have come to the realization that it would be selfish of me to want to hold on to Christ's bride. If God is calling one of his home who am I to stand in the way of creator of my life. I am thankful for the time that I have been given with my father and for all the things that he has taught me like, construction, hunting, backpacking, and fishing (but I had to teach myself the sanctified way of fly fishing). These things really get me stoked when I think that I am going to be passing these things on to Matt and the memories that him and I will build together.

So where does this leave me, I am thankful for every second that I have spent with my father and I am going to do everything possible to continue building more memories. I know from the dawn of time God knew what was going to happen and I am more than okay with that, I have freedom in that knowledge. Praise to the author of creation.

Toxicodendron diversilobum

Toxicodendron diversilobum- (Poison Oak) it is infectious, spreads by a person touching the leaves, stems or roots. It is not spread by touching other people who have it or by scratching a rash. Other myths are that if the plant is dead it can no longer affect you, wrong, the plant has an something called urushiol oil which is gives people the rash. This past weekend the entire camp was littered with the stuff and if you diverted from the path for on second you would be entangled into a mire of criss-crossed plant known for its trinity of leaves.
This plant has effected me profoundly in the past week for a number of non-physical reasons, one being that I have found that though I am suffering from its effect. Not physically suffering from its potent cocktail, but similarly suffering from similar effects of rash, boils, and red irritation of the soul. In the past few years I have constantly struggled with the psychological warfare within my mind of a non-commitment to Christ in all areas of my life. From time to time I have been able to separate myself from the rash and red stain so common with this sin, but not two weeks ago.
I know my own pit falls and the things that cause myself to struggle and fall and instead of waring against those things I let the enemy encampment lie at my doorstep. I failed my God, my family and myself.

Thomas Dylan-

Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

I will fight on! I will fight on! I will not go gentle into the night letting the sin over come me! Rage! Rage! Rage!

Refocus

I took some time this weekend to try and take and closer look about the life and I have built for myself, and it truly was discouraging. I have come to the sad, but true, realization that I have created a matrix of life within my own mind. With in the confounds of my mind I have developed a series of parallel universes that I call my reality. The first the reality that I know I should be living, the self-less loving husband, dedicated father, trustworthy friend, and the most important a Godly man worth Christ's propitiation for me upon the cross. The other is the carnal man that only cares for the filling selfish desires and filling my mind with useless selfworth.

I have realized that I have been the last more often than not, or at least parts of that mind set have found roots within my reality. This weekend has helped my realize that and not the deconstructing of the cancerous lifestyle has begun.....more to come......

Life with subtitles....

One of my favorite movies is "Life is Beautiful", touching, loving, deep and subtitled. You do not miss a thing, murmur, or even a breath. All is there for you to see and understand, Why can I not produce my life that way? It is very strange to me that no matter how old I get, the less I know and understand about life, love, family, and myself. If I stop and recount the steps that I have taken, lessons that I should have learned, problems that I got into, books that I have read, and people that I have interaction with over the years, then why am I not smarter, stronger, further along in my life than I am.

And that is when I figured it out....I either missed the subtitles at the bottom of my feet or they are not provided that this venue. Pity it would be much easier. Well I guess I will need to either slow down or I need to carry poster board and a few sharpie's with me. I'll try and figure that one out this week.