Thursday, October 30, 2008

Toxicodendron diversilobum

Toxicodendron diversilobum- (Poison Oak) it is infectious, spreads by a person touching the leaves, stems or roots. It is not spread by touching other people who have it or by scratching a rash. Other myths are that if the plant is dead it can no longer affect you, wrong, the plant has an something called urushiol oil which is gives people the rash. This past weekend the entire camp was littered with the stuff and if you diverted from the path for on second you would be entangled into a mire of criss-crossed plant known for its trinity of leaves.
This plant has effected me profoundly in the past week for a number of non-physical reasons, one being that I have found that though I am suffering from its effect. Not physically suffering from its potent cocktail, but similarly suffering from similar effects of rash, boils, and red irritation of the soul. In the past few years I have constantly struggled with the psychological warfare within my mind of a non-commitment to Christ in all areas of my life. From time to time I have been able to separate myself from the rash and red stain so common with this sin, but not two weeks ago.
I know my own pit falls and the things that cause myself to struggle and fall and instead of waring against those things I let the enemy encampment lie at my doorstep. I failed my God, my family and myself.

Thomas Dylan-


Do not go gentle into that good night, Old age should burn and rave at close of day; Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



Though wise men at their end know dark is right, Because their words had forked no lightning they Do not go gentle into that good night.



Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight, And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way, Do not go gentle into that good night.



Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay, Rage, rage against the dying of the light.



And you, my father, there on the sad height, Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray. Do not go gentle into that good night. Rage, rage against the dying of the light.




I will fight on! I will fight on! I will not go gentle into the night letting the sin over come me! Rage! Rage! Rage!


Sunday, October 26, 2008

Refocus


I took some time this weekend to try and take and closer look about the life and I have built for myself, and it truly was discouraging. I have come to the sad, but true, realization that I have created a matrix of life within my own mind. With in the confounds of my mind I have developed a series of parallel universes that I call my reality. The first the reality that I know I should be living, the self-less loving husband, dedicated father, trustworthy friend, and the most important a Godly man worth Christ's propitiation for me upon the cross. The other is the carnal man that only cares for the filling selfish desires and filling my mind with useless selfworth.
I have realized that I have been the last more often than not, or at least parts of that mind set have found roots within my reality. This weekend has helped my realize that and not the deconstructing of the cancerous lifestyle has begun.....more to come......